I read this article recently about being autistic, an adult, and dealing with depression. Being on the spectrum, and depressed from time to time it was interesting.
They said that adults on the spectrum I agree with it a lot.
It takes years of trying to fit in with the crowd. You finally finally finally find your little place in life where you are comfortable. You are getting by, you are happy, then someone comes along and just fucks up your balance.
I spend a lot of time trying to understand my neurology, or in some cases just hide it away, and that’s really hard. You become exhausted just trying to cope as though you are normal. Then, when you realize you don’t fit in, or can’t get things going the way you want (usually because someone comes along and takes advantage of you for your differences) you just want to hide.
It is depressing to consider that there isn’t a great place in the world to fit in. It is even more depressing that people will take advantage of your difference over and over and over again.
This author nailed this particular passage:
“I’ve paid for people to visit family members. I’ve fixed people’s cars, their computers, etc. for free. I’ve taken on tasks at work I didn’t need to, even though I would have been better off focusing on my own projects.
Generally people are appreciative, and it feels good. But sometimes, they wind up using me, under the pretense of friendship, and when I come to realize that this has happened, I feel utterly betrayed and furious.”
When this kind of stuff happens it pisses me off. They ride my credentials, they ride my good will, then when it’s time for parity, or for you know…a promotion or a job out of it they find someone neurotypical to work with.
That’s fine fuck them, I enjoy writing my books, blogs, and inventing technologies and functionalities and I will continue to do that. I will be successful despite the lowlife shits that take advantage of those of us on the spectrum. Part of me hopes one day some of them are thrown into prison and are not given the aid of anal lubricant.